Ask Fake Dog #1: Coors
Written 45 days ago by Gearóid
Welcome to a new, regular feature of the Fake Dog blog, Ask Fake Dog. If you have any questions and Wikipedia can’t help you, then ask us and we’ll investigate for you. You can ask a question by leaving a comment, going on the message board, or on the contact page.
Today we’re asked:
What ever happened to Coors?
This is probably more relevant to those in Ireland and the UK, but it could be more far-reaching. We shall find out!
The point being made is that the beer Coors (which I will refer to as Coors Original from now on to avoid confusion) does not seem to exist anymore, only Coors Light. If one goes into a pub these days, only Coors Light is available, and Coors Original is nowhere to be seen. Does the Coors Original still exist?
When many of us were young, we were familiar with Coors because they were the sponsors of Chelsea. Even a search for that old jersey brings up images of Coors Light and the new Chelsea jersey, but no sign of the old Coors. What’s going on? I went to Coors Brewers’ UK site to find out.
Their press releases only go back to the start of 2007, and Coors Original has certainly been absent for longer than that. Notably absent from their brands page is Coors Original. The only Coors-branded beer mentioned on the site is Coors Light. So now we know that it’s officially no longer available in the UK. A quick search shows that it’s still available in the US, as seen on the US Coors website, advertised as “the Banquet Beer”. That narrows down the investigation to just this side of the Atlantic.
Now that we know it’s no longer being sold over here, it’s time to figure out just when it stopped being sold. Let’s take a quick look at Coors’ history.
The Adolph Coors Company was formerly a holding company controlled by the heirs of founder Adolph Coors. Its principal subsidiary is the Coors Brewing Company. It was founded in 1873.
In 2002, Coors acquired the England and Wales-based business of Bass Brewers from Interbrew and created Coors Brewers Limited, the UK’s second largest brewer with more than 20% market share. From Wikipedia and Coors Brewers UK
The answer may lie in this take-overs. The US part of Coors merged with Molson and Miller in 2002 and 2005 respectively, but since Coors Original is still available there, it seems this is irrelevant to our investigation.
So let’s go back to 2002 and see what exactly happened with the Coors-Bass take-over.
It turns out that there’s a lot more to the take-over than what the Coors site lets on. The bidding process was heated, and held between many of the biggest and well-known worldwide brewers, including Heineken, who were the favourites to win the bidding war. However, Coors won the bid on Christmas Eve in 2001 and bought Bass Brewers for £1.2bn. Included in this deal were brands such as Carling, Worthington and Grolsch.
It seems that this take-over was critical for Coors’ success on this side of the Atlantic, as the brand wasn’t very well-known before the take-over. So why is Coors Original gone, but Coors Light left remaining?
It seems that even back in 2001, Coors Light was more popular than the original non-light version. Given that Coors was not a terribly popular brand to begin with, it’s fair to assume that sales of original were poor. Now remember that Coors were just after buying the rights to brew Carling, the UK’s number one lager and it starts to make sense.
If Coors Original wasn’t popular, but Carling was a big seller, what point is there in a brewer marketing both of them? It seems that Coors Original was phased out around the time that the company bought the rights to Carling, as Coors Original could be seen as a competing drink. Coors Light, on the other hand, is marketed at a different audience, with its main selling point being that it is a light beer. Coors Original had little to separate it from Carling, so it was dropped in favour of its lighter variety.
It’s disappointing to find that after all this, the answer to the question is so simple. However, it’s hard to pinpoint an exact date when this phasing out of Coors became official, and it doesn’t seem like we’ll know any time soon. But Fake Dog will keep searching!
So, to answer your question …
What ever happened to Coors?
It just wasn’t popular anymore!
Update: 9th October 2008
I emailed Coors two days ago when I was writing this blog in the hope that they might give me some information on the demise of Coors Original. They replied within 24 hours, which I was not expecting. Unfortunately there’s little information about Coors Original in it, but there’s some interesting info on Coors Light.
Hi Gearoid, thanks for the email.
Coors Brewers began brewing and distributing Coors Fine Light Beer, a 5% ABV premium lager based on the US Coors Light product, in 2003. In 2007 we made the switch to the ‘US recipe’, reducing the ABV to 4.5% and re-launching as Coors Light – with the same positioning and branding as Coors Light in the US, Canada, South America and all global markets.
You refer to the ‘Original Coors’ – which I’m guessing is the brand in the UK in the early 90’s (Chelsea sponsors etc) – this sat outside the portfolio of Bass Brewers (the former incarnation of Coors Brewers in the UK) and as such we don’t have information as to what decisions were taken with its UK distributors at that time.
As for the move from a 5% ‘Coors Fine Light Beer’ to the current 4.5% Coors Light – this was informed by increasing evidence of drinkers moving to lighter tasting products, and of a move away from stronger premium lagers. The move also enables better consistent branding and activities across the world.
Hope that helps some. Thanks again for your interest.
Cheers
Steve, Coors Light
So if Coors don’t even know when the original stopped being sold, it won’t be easy to find out!
Be sure to ask your own question by leaving a comment, going on the message board, or on the contact page.
— Gearóid
My Summer List
Written 149 days ago by GearóidFirst of all, let me apologise for not posting a blog in a long time. I’m quite unreliable at remembering passwords, as the other Fake Dog men will attest to. However, I am quite good at manipulating Fake Dog’s databases and now I have a new password! Though I did need two separate and confusing passwords before I got to that point. I don’t know how I come up with them!
Anyway, onto the purpose of this post. It’s a long summer without a job, apart from freelance web design. We’ll see how that goes, but in the meantime I need to keep myself occupied. I realised this quite a while ago, over a month before my summer holidays even began. I decided I needed a list of things to do over the summer, and remembered 43things, a site which I registered on over two years ago and never really used. I quite liked the idea of being able to post a list and then keep each one updated with entries, as well as people cheering me on (literally).
So I set about filling up my list with everything I could think of. The first goal, before any other goal was even put up, was to do all my things before the end of the summer. Over the next month the list started to fill up until I had the maximum 43 things which the site allows. I quite like this arbitrary number, as it seems like just the right amount of goals.
So now, with 74 days left in the summer, I’ve done 8 things and have 35 more to do. Some things take a lot longer than others, like painting and cleaning my room. Then some are quite simple, like making a Bebo skin. But they’re all things I want to do over the summer! I’m currently in the process of completing goal number 16, watch the first series of Jericho. Though the numbering changes as I complete goals, I have a copy of the original list with all the goals’ corresponding numbers.
Anyway, that’s enough explaining, you might as well just go check out the list and see what it’s all about. And I’m not the only one doing it either, be sure to check out Stephen’s and David’s too!
— Gearóid
Finally, Fake Dog Has Come Back to Barcelona, Spain!
Written 250 days ago by GearóidWell actually, not back to Barcelona, but for the first time. But it sounds better quote-wise this way, so there you go.
So, as many of you maay already know, I went to Barcelona last weekend with good old Young Fine Gael. It was quite the weekend with many a story to be told, but unfortunately I can’t be getting Fake Dog into too much trouble, so I’ll have to confine these stories (mostly) to those involving me.
We left Galway at 12 on Friday, and after numerous bus, plane and metro journeys, we got to our hostel around 11. To say it was anything but absolutely tiny would be like saying we have a reasonable explanation as to why we called it Fake Dog Films. We went out for some nice cheap Spanish drinks. On arrival back at the hostel, I found a random person passed out in the toilets, wearing only his jocks and his socks, and curled around the bowl. Good start!
The next morning it was very sunny and yet we spent most of the day in the pub watching various matches. That evening was spent wandering around Barcelona going to different pubs and having run-ins with various prostitutes, pick-pockets and drug dealers, before heading to a nightclub at half past three in the morning. Quite something, that. We left at 6 in search of a “missing” member of our party who was actually passed out in bed all along. Fake Dog was not best pleased and proceeded to hit him across the head multiple times with a sobering bottle of cheap, cold, Spanish water. On my travels that night, I came across one curiously (and hilariously) named Irish bar. I didn’t chance going in though.
It was then Sunday and I felt like someone had delivered all the Sunday Times in my head. I went to the nearest restaurant to get that horrible taste out of my mouth. You know that one where it feels like someone’s parked a car in your mouth? Yeah, that. So I found some place with some Spanish food that solved my problem to some extent. I took it easy for the rest of the day, and bought myself a nice cheap hoodie to keep warm that night. Outside the shopping centre was a big wooden submarine, so I just laid down on the grass beside it for about two hours.
That night was the Barcelona match. To keep it short, food was expensive, Barcelona lost, fans were angry, but most importantly … Fake Dog went to Camp Nou!
More socialising ensued, and the night finished (to some extent) with us getting food from a place whose name was even more hilarious than the Irish bar.
‘He doesn’t even know how to do The French Sandwich!’
Fearghal’s natural desire for alcohol led to him buying 12 cans off a random guy on the street, and then us getting offered “charlie” and also said person trying to pickpocket us. I was not best pleased.
After intervening events, we arrived back at the hostel and realised we had many too many cans, and so decided there was only one thing to do with all those extra ones … smash them together just like Stone Cold! Admittedly, it wasn’t Coors Light, but Fake Dog has already been down that alley.
The next day was all touristy, and so I won’t bother with all the boring details or photos, but just this one from the (admittedly amazing) La Sagrada Familia. And no, not the song!
Fake Dog was both amused and appalled at this terrible grammar. Mostly amused because I can see it leading to lots of great lawsuits.
The next day saw around 12 hours’ of travelling after 90 minutes’ sleep the previous night, and then a 9am exam the morning after I got back. Wasn’t that nice.
And that’s it. Apologies for the exceptionally long blog, but you made it to the end, so leave a comment.
And subscribe!
— Gearóid
Fake Dog Loves #1: The IT Crowd
Written 263 days ago by Gearóid
Welcome to a new and regular feature on our blog called “Fake Dog Loves”. Since this is so far unapproved by either Dara or Paul (mainly because they’re still in bed and unaware), it’s technically just “Gearóid Loves”.
Anyway, apart from the obvious (yes, they are separate links), I want to point out stuff that Fake Dog loves and therefore by extension and necessity, you must also love. I’m sure in time we will get around to doing a detailed “Fake Dog Loves” on all the obvious stuff, but for now, it’s basically whatever’s stuck in my mind.
The title may have given it away, maybe, but the first Fake Dog Loves is The IT Crowd. This may appeal to me more than the other Fake Doggers given my nerdy nature, but it’s still very good. It follows the typical Graham Linehan formula, but does it well. The show is about Roy, the angry Irish guy, Moss, the typical English guy, and Jen, the woman.
Moss is by far the best character, played by Richard Ayoade of Darkplace fame (or not). He provides many memorable quotes and scenes, and you’ve no excuse to watch it because it’s free on 4od.
So go on, it’s not piracy!
— Gearóid
The FDF Party Storybook
Written 285 days ago by GearóidRather than having you read and comprehend the big words that I like to use, I’m going to appeal to the masses by explaining the Fake Dog party storybook-style with lots of pretty pictures, explained with simple words. Yay!
The night starts with me finally finding the party at the No. 8 bar by the docks.
I immediately start plugging Fake Dog Films, despite the fact that all these people already know the Fake Dog message.
However, Cannon isn’t happy and decides to crackdown on my shameless plugging.
I spend the next while hiding from Cannon while subtly plugging Fake Dog.
I find McGrath, who is much more receptive to my Fake Dog ways.
Meanwhile, the raffle for Fake Dog t-shirts is made.
On seeing the well-made t-shirts, it’s not too long before Cannon reveals his true self!
Now getting into the spirit of things, Cannon and McGrath present one of the winners with his prize.
All the Fake Dogs and Honorary Dogs are rounded up and a picture is taken.
The night is finished off with the Fake Dog dance to the tune of Golden Skans.
Note: Things may not necessarily have happened in this order, but for the purposes of entertaining storytelling, they did. Deal with it.
— Gearóid
Hello Ladies!
Written 294 days ago by GearóidAs you are no doubt aware, the Fake Dog men went to a wrestling show in Salthill last night. As expected, it was packed with screaming fans, and Fake Dog was right up the front to witness it all!
First up was The Highlander Lou McDonald, with his big keg, against “Bad News” … great names, we were very impressed! Since we weren’t terribly sure who was good or bad, the big fat man got the microphone and started going off on Galway and Ireland. Well he’s not from around here and has his own customs and traditions, so he just had to be booed. Of course, we at Fake Dog are never ones to go with the popular guy, so we became The Highlander’s biggest fans!
Well it was a pretty slow-going match until The Highlander suddenly won, and I’m not really sure how it happened, but we were happy.
Next up were the ladies. We were excited about this one. And it didn’t disappoint! There was one from London, and a very Irish girl from Mallow … well I think she was Irish, it was hard to tell.
I’m joking of course. Her name was Erin, she wore green clothes with a shamrock on them, waved a tri-colour and came out to some U2 song which I don’t recall. It was quite a good match, better than the first in any case. Like a lot of wrestling matches, the most fun lies in the subtleties. In this match, the London woman was beating up Erin and shouted, “This is how we do it in Britain!” It sounded like they beat up little Irish girls over there. Who knows. In any case, Erin won with an impressive missle dropkick behind chants of “Ireland! Ireland!” as the fate of our entire nation clearly lay in this match. It did. And we won!
The match after was a very big man who said he was better than us against a guy called Celtic Warrior, who didn’t seem terribly Irish. Anyway, however it happened, the Warrior won the match and the cheapish-looking yellow title belt.
This brought us to the intermission when I went out to get refreshments for the Fake Dog crew. During that time, some kids went near the ring and got chased away by the referee. It was amusing.
After the break, it was time for a Batista look-alike (whom I christened Botista) versus Gangrel, who used to actually wrestle in WWE, which is kinda cool, except he sucked and was fired for being fat. He won the match with a harsh low blow, which is surely because he runs the show being a minorly important person in wrestling.
Finally was the royal rumble, which seemed to promise 20 contestants, but was actually only the 8 whom we had already seen. Botista won and the crowd loved it.
Fake Dog then went to get food and subsequently went to see So Cow in Róisín Dubh.
And so that concludes my synopsis of the night. Dara and Paul have their own opinions to post too, and we’ll have photos up in the gallery in the coming days, so keep your eyes open!
— Gearóid