Let's just kill each other.
Written 27 days ago by Dara
Face/ Off was my favourite film for a number of years. I still quite like it. It’s an action film, but it has a bit of cleverness to it, too. Oscar-winner, Nicolas Cage, and Oscar-nominee, John Travolta, go head to head in an explosive action picture, one of the most successful films of 1997, in fact. But, that was back when action films were the blockbusters. In more recent years we have been subjected to wizardry aplenty and gruesome horrors in their place. Only a few films have hinted at a revival of the action film as more than just a direct-to-DVD sub-genre (such as; Death Sentence and Wanted, and even these have horror and fantasy aspects, respectively). So, where’s the action?
Back in the 90’s, we could frequently look forward to an action blockbuster with a satisfying level of violence, but (bar a few exceptions) never too gruesome an entertainment – and one where the violence always felt just. Action films seemed to fizzle out towards the end of the ’90’s, just in time for the super hero and fantasy genres to pick up as a main stream entertainment. In no time at all they seemed to take over. So, the average action fan was faced with a life-altering decision: Become a horror junkie, and bask in the wave of non-stop, Japanese remakes and gruesome torture films for an overly-violent “action” fix; or, go to the video dungeon and find the latest Steven Seagal direct-to-DVD release. Neither are very appealing to me.
Personally, I don’t like my action films overly violent. A good 18’s action film like Face/ Off is great, but I don’t need to see the inside of anybody’s head, or see someone being tortured till their face falls off, or something. That kind of thing’s not my bag. So, that rules out the excess of modern horror. And I certainly don’t want to become a direct-to-DVD junkie and suffer releases like Today You Die. I want to see an action film with good production design, proper sets, and proper actors. Like Face/ Off. It took two of the biggest actors of the decade, one an Oscar-winner, the other a two-time nominee, and put them in an action film! It has attention to detail, a clever-enough plot, and the performances are pretty good in places. Plus, it’s highly quotable and provides non-stop action. And it killed at the Box Office. Why did they stop making films like this?
I just want an action film that doesn’t look terrible, stars some respectable actors, doesn’t make me want to get sick, doesn’t feature wizardry of any sort, and that people, actual people, put some effort into. I realise that’s a lot to ask, but Nicolas Cage made Face/ Off, Con Air and The Rock in the space of two years! Of course, that was back in the 90’s and they don’t make them like that anymore. They really don’t.
— Dara
A Day in the Life of Fake Dog*
Written 81 days ago by Dara
*Artists’ impression, days may vary.
— Dara
Abdate
Written 137 days ago by DaraI’m sure all of you are wondering how the Fake Dog ab competition is coming along (if not, get your priorities in order!). I haven’t seen Paul or Gearoid’s “abs” recently, but I’m assuming we’re all at about the same level- completely and utterly ab-less. The dealine is less than two months away (the August/ September weekend) so it’s pretty much anyone’s game at this point. I’m hearing a lot of votes for Webby’s side. That’s fine. People like an underdog. And Gearoid is very sure of himself, which in turn motivates me.
I saw some of a Strong Man competition (they all have massive kegs!) on telly today, and it got me in the mood for competition. There was a little guy in the competition from Bulgaria that was trying very hard to lift things four times his weight. I was reminded of Webby for some reason. Then, there was a Dutch man who was quite showy and stuck out his tongue cheekily when he lifted things while standing on one leg. This was all quite entertaining, but didn’t actually help him win. Not unlike Gearoid’s cockiness. And then, there was the Polish man. He just shut up and won the competition. I am that Polish man (for the purposes of this analogy). And after the competition is over, and my abs have long since vanished (they’ll disappear faster than an unattended six-pack at a house party), I will have the satisfaction of knowing I sent my fellow Fake Dogs home from Electric Picnic, in flabby, flabby shame…
JA jestem całym który jest człowiek.
— Dara
Fake Dog Loves #3: The Sweeney
Written 220 days ago by Dara
The Sweeney is a seminal 1970’s British cop show, which has had more than a slight influence on Fake Dog. Now, the reason this show is so important is because, before this, all British cop shows were quite tame and white-washed. Then, The Sweeney came along and basically said “Fuck the handbook!”. It was gritty and realistic, and its two stars Regan and Carter had a complete disregard for protocol, as long as they got the job done.
Regan and Carter are members of The Flying Squad, an elite branch of the British police force specialising in armed robbery and violent crime. The name, Wikipedia informs me, comes from cockney rhyming slang. As in “Sweeney Todd” rhymes with “Flying Squad”. A bit sill really, but it does sound cool.
The Sweeney is famous for its tyre-screeching car chases, but people seem to forget it’s also very funny. The banter between Regan and Carter is quite entertaining, and they always seem to be chatting about the case at hand over a mug of whiskey in the office, or down the pub on their lunch break. And the dialogue is highly quotable, especially the put-downs; “Do me a favour!”, “Shut it!”
It’s become part of our culture now, whether or not you realise it. It’s been parodied in everything from car ads to sitcoms. That’s why you may laugh at some of the clips, because they seem like cliches. But it’s the same with everything. Cliches have to start somewhere. So, if you do get a chance, watch it with an open mind, you shan’t regret it. By the end credits, you’ll always be left wanting more.
— Dara
April 9
Written 235 days ago by DaraWhat is this mysterious date that’s been hovering around all Fake Dog’s numerous enterprises of late, I hear you ask? Is it a simple marketing ploy? Is it a new Godzilla movie? Or, possibly, the moment you’ve all been waiting for?? I don’t want to give too much away, though I fear I already have! In any case, make sure you’re on fakedogfilms.com on the 9th of April!
— Dara
Fake Dog Loves #2: Klaxons
Written 256 days ago by DaraOk, so anybody who knows us even a little bit may be aware of our, not obsession, but fond admiration of a band called Klaxons. Sure, they can be a bit silly, they could be mistaken for “emo” people and they can take themselves a bit too seriously sometimes… but they really are top drawer!
I was lucky enough to see them live last year. Now, they only have the one album so far, so it was probably the shortest headlining gig I’ve ever been at, but they put on quite a show. Their limited repetoire also ensured the performance of “Golden Skans,” something of an anthem for Fake Dog, and a song to which the Fake Dog Dance has been honed.
More recently, Fake Dog attended a Klaxons DJ set, which turned out to be just the one Klaxon… but that didn’t stop us getting excited!
Now, you may have thought this blog was finished, but it’s not over yet. And not just because I wanted to say that. I know Klaxons aren’t the best band in the world. Their album only has 4 or 5 really good songs and they do have a fondness for self-indulgence… But that doesn’t matter! I say, if that’s what they need to do to create these pop gems, then let them off! They’re our band, and we’re sticking by them!
— Dara