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The Kerbs Rulebook

Written by Dara • February 01 2009 • 14 comments

When we were young, one of our favourite games to play was Kerbs. It’s quite a simple game, yet it never seemed to get tiresome. All you need are two kerbs on opposite sides of the road, and a ball. Most Irish people who grew up in the 90’s seem to be familiar with this game, but I’ve no idea how far it spreads. It’s a very enjoyable game, and if you’ve never played you should watch A Dog’s Life Episode 1: Kerbs to get you in the mood! Like everything, rules will inevitably vary from place to place, so I thought it was time Fake Dog laid out a definitive set of rules. Of course, you can change them to suit yourself, but at least this way everyone is on the same page, and if there’s any disputes you can quote The Kerbs Rulebook!

Kerbs Rulebook

The Basics
Now, like I was saying, all you need are two opposite kerbs and a ball. Ideally, you’re going to want an average-sized kerb. If it’s too big, it’ll be too easy to hit, and if it’s too small, it’ll be rather hard! So, once you’ve picked your sides, you take turns trying to hit your opponent’s kerb without leaving your own footpath. If your foot is on the road your shot won’t count. When you hit the other person’s kerb, you progress to the centre of the road, half-way between both kerbs. Once you’re here you must keep your back foot on the centre markings of the road. You can continue to hit your opponent’s kerb from here, earning 5 points for every shot. But, if you miss, you’ll have to run back to your own kerb very quickly, as your opponent can throw the ball at you, and take all of your points if he is successful! It’s a risky business, and sometimes people like to miss their last shot deliberately so they’ll have plenty of time to run back safely.

Now, you can also play Busts, or No Busts. This essentially means you have to get exactly the amount required in order to win. Eg. For a game up to 1000, you would have to get 1000 points exactly, any more and you would “go bust” and forfeit the game. It brings an element of skill and calculation to the game.

Kerbs Rulebook

Game Play
Now, a basic throw is worth 20 points, but there’s several ways to increase this. If you throw the ball over a passing car and hit the kerb, it’s worth a whopping 200 points. This is a rare opportunity, though, and takes a bit of cheek. Over a bike is 75 points. Anything else is negotiable. If you’re playing outside a house and your opponent misses so badly that the ball lands in the garden behind you, you’ll receive double points for any successful shot you take from there.

The quickest way to win a game of Kerbs, however, is to vary your throwing style; the more difficult the shot, the more points you’ll get. Here is a definitive list of moves, all of which you can see in the first episode of A Dog’s Life. Feel free to use your own points system, but this is the one we’ve decided upon as the fairest from personal experience. Some moves are a lot harder than they look.

The Granny Throw – 10 points
Kerbs Rulebook
It doesn’t get much easier than this.

The Basic – 20 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Your basic Kerbs throw.

The Boatman’s Call – 30 points
Kerbs Rulebook
A sort of downward hook.

Over the Head – 30 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Just like a free throw.

The Bowler’s Bluff – 40 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Like bowling for Kerbs.

The Gardener’s Delight – 40 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Make like you’re digging up the garden, scooping the ball with your foot. All style.

The Nutcracker – 40 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Again, a basic kick from the ground, but jazzed up with an element of danger.

Over the Back of the Head – 50 points
Kerbs Rulebook
This one is harder than it looks.

The Niall Quinn – 50 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Basically a header, named after the Irish football player, infamous for said move.

The Hand of God – 60 points
Kerbs Rulebook
If your opponent throws a truly awful Kerb you can rise up and fire it back at them before it lands. A flashy one to be sure.

The Hot Potato – 60 points
Kerbs Rulebook
The ball is passed along from player to player, like a hot potato. The last player then throws it. Another basic throw, but with a bit of showmanship. Minimum of 3 players required.

Balls-to-the-Wall – 60 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Launch yourself off the wall, pivot, and throw.

The Leg-Up – 60 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Hoop the ball under your leg. A hard one to keep accurate.

The Crackdown – 60 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Punch the ball to victory.

The Hatrick – 70 points
Kerbs Rulebook
All 3 players kick the ball at the same time.

The Backflip – 70 points
Kerbs Rulebook
One player launches the ball up behind his back, while the other slaps it towards the kerb. Another hard one to control.

The King’s Chair – 80 points
Kerbs Rulebook
This one looks impressive, but requires 3 players.

The Totem Pole – 80 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Similar to the above, with one player on the other’s shoulders. Only requires 2 players. Anyone brave enough to make a 3-player Totem Pole shot must win without dispute.

The Head-to-Toe – 90 points
Kerbs Rulebook
You’ll need a wall behind you for this one. Player 1 stands on his hands, head-to-toe with player 2. Player 3 then hits the ball from player 2’s head.

The Rings of Saturn – 100 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Spin around 3 times, then throw the ball. Much harder than it sounds, any form of accuracy is near-impossible.

The Coast to Coast – 100 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Bounce the ball off your kerb so that it hits the opposite kerb. Very hard to perfect.

The Aussie Whip (aka The Down Under) – 100 points
Kerbs Rulebook
Again, looks easier than it is. It’s hard to be accurate when you’re upside down. Good to impress the ladies.

Now that you’ve read The Kerbs Rulebook, you can feel free to go off and play the most informed game of Kerbs you’ve ever played! Again, these rules are just a guideline and you should use whatever ones you find suit you best. The main thing is to just have fun. But, competitions can get quite heated, so if there’s any disputes you’ll know where to come!

We’d love to see a revival of Kerbs. It really is a great game. So, next time you’re bored, grab a friend and have a game of Kerbs. You’ll be hooked in no time. Now go spread the word! And the word is Kerbs!

— Dara

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