A Day in the Life of Fake Dog*
Written 4 days ago by Dara
*Artists’ impression, days may vary.
— Dara
Fitness.
Written 45 days ago by PaulWhat with all the recent talk of working out and dieting with regard to the Fake Dog Ab Competition, I thought I’d share some thoughts on the phenomenom of health and fitness. You can’t get away from it, every time you turn on the telly they’re selling healthier living, which is a good thing I think. We’re constantly getting leaflets in our door for gyms, Crunch this and Curve that.
Normally Fake Dog would ignore this, but because I’m taking this ab wager seriously I decided to join a gym, so I took up the offer of free trials with various gyms in the city. A word to the wise – if you’re going to do this, don’t give them your real number as they’ll keep texting you and ringing you to join – ‘hi Paul, haven’t seen you in a while, juts letting you know we have a new offer bla bla bla…’ It’s kind of like that episode of Friends where Chandler tries to leave the gym, but he can’t because tof he lovely ladies. Anyway, I obviously went for the gym that was closest to my house. When I was getting my fitness programme done, the gym man kept talking about working on my glutials and tendonoids etc… needless to say, I didn’t know what he was talking about and said ‘no, no, no just tell me how to get abs’.
Gyms are funny places, filled with big, intimidating machines and people trying to figure aout how to use them .There are two types of gyms, the ones that people go to get escape for a while and just cook in a sauna for a few hours and gyms where people go to work out and get buff, these people take it very seriously altogether. It’s a good atmosphere for the ab training. My gym has a variety of classes including Stability Ball training, Boxercize and Spinning. I haven’t tried any of these yet, I’ve only been to Abs Blast and Extreme Abs but after I win the competition, I may try some of the other classes like Pilates
What I’ve learned is that there are loads of reasons to eat better and work out more, and there are no end of ways of getting fit and healthy with new gyms, diets and WAGs workout dvds. popping up all the time. However, I found the best motivation for a healthier lifestyle is spite and personal competition, and it seems to be working for me. Maybe Fake Dog should do a workout dvd…
— Paul
Abdate
Written 60 days ago by DaraI’m sure all of you are wondering how the Fake Dog ab competition is coming along (if not, get your priorities in order!). I haven’t seen Paul or Gearoid’s “abs” recently, but I’m assuming we’re all at about the same level- completely and utterly ab-less. The dealine is less than two months away (the August/ September weekend) so it’s pretty much anyone’s game at this point. I’m hearing a lot of votes for Webby’s side. That’s fine. People like an underdog. And Gearoid is very sure of himself, which in turn motivates me.
I saw some of a Strong Man competition (they all have massive kegs!) on telly today, and it got me in the mood for competition. There was a little guy in the competition from Bulgaria that was trying very hard to lift things four times his weight. I was reminded of Webby for some reason. Then, there was a Dutch man who was quite showy and stuck out his tongue cheekily when he lifted things while standing on one leg. This was all quite entertaining, but didn’t actually help him win. Not unlike Gearoid’s cockiness. And then, there was the Polish man. He just shut up and won the competition. I am that Polish man (for the purposes of this analogy). And after the competition is over, and my abs have long since vanished (they’ll disappear faster than an unattended six-pack at a house party), I will have the satisfaction of knowing I sent my fellow Fake Dogs home from Electric Picnic, in flabby, flabby shame…
JA jestem całym który jest człowiek.
— Dara
My Summer List
Written 72 days ago by GearóidFirst of all, let me apologise for not posting a blog in a long time. I’m quite unreliable at remembering passwords, as the other Fake Dog men will attest to. However, I am quite good at manipulating Fake Dog’s databases and now I have a new password! Though I did need two separate and confusing passwords before I got to that point. I don’t know how I come up with them!
Anyway, onto the purpose of this post. It’s a long summer without a job, apart from freelance web design. We’ll see how that goes, but in the meantime I need to keep myself occupied. I realised this quite a while ago, over a month before my summer holidays even began. I decided I needed a list of things to do over the summer, and remembered 43things, a site which I registered on over two years ago and never really used. I quite liked the idea of being able to post a list and then keep each one updated with entries, as well as people cheering me on (literally).
So I set about filling up my list with everything I could think of. The first goal, before any other goal was even put up, was to do all my things before the end of the summer. Over the next month the list started to fill up until I had the maximum 43 things which the site allows. I quite like this arbitrary number, as it seems like just the right amount of goals.
So now, with 74 days left in the summer, I’ve done 8 things and have 35 more to do. Some things take a lot longer than others, like painting and cleaning my room. Then some are quite simple, like making a Bebo skin. But they’re all things I want to do over the summer! I’m currently in the process of completing goal number 16, watch the first series of Jericho. Though the numbering changes as I complete goals, I have a copy of the original list with all the goals’ corresponding numbers.
Anyway, that’s enough explaining, you might as well just go check out the list and see what it’s all about. And I’m not the only one doing it either, be sure to check out Stephen’s and David’s too!
— Gearóid
Fake Dog Loves #4: Peep Show
Written 108 days ago by Paul
Peep Show is very popular among The Fake Dog Boys, and for good reason. It is a comedy series on Channel 4 that is currently airing in its fifth series. It’s very funny and is probably one of our most quoted shows (apart from our own stuff).
It centers around the two main characters of Mark and Jeremy played by David Mitchell and Robert Webb who share a flat together in South London. Mark is a loan manager for JLB credit, he loves his history and politics, but is very uncomfortable in his own skin. Jeremy is his more laid back lodger, a so far unsuccessfull musician and a bit of a freeloader.
What sets the show apart is the way its shot. It is all taken from one of the characters point of view and with the help of voice over we hear what our two main characters are thinking which almost always conflicts with what they are saying. In doing this, I think it’s easier and cheaper to shoot, allowing to keep making more series which is good for us.
There are also loads great supporting characters, two of my favourite being The Johnson. and Super Hans.
The first three series are excellent. Based on dvd sales two more series were commissioned and although the fourth series wasn’t quite as good, it was still very funny. I’ve only seen one episode of the new series but it seems, they’ve still got it. I’ll definitely be getting it when it comes out on dvd. Rumour has it that one of the producers of Curb Your Enthusiasm is planning on making an american version, although there already was a pilot that didn’t do too well.
— Paul
Fake Dog Loves #3: The Sweeney
Written 143 days ago by Dara
The Sweeney is a seminal 1970’s British cop show, which has had more than a slight influence on Fake Dog. Now, the reason this show is so important is because, before this, all British cop shows were quite tame and white-washed. Then, The Sweeney came along and basically said “Fuck the handbook!”. It was gritty and realistic, and its two stars Regan and Carter had a complete disregard for protocol, as long as they got the job done.
Regan and Carter are members of The Flying Squad, an elite branch of the British police force specialising in armed robbery and violent crime. The name, Wikipedia informs me, comes from cockney rhyming slang. As in “Sweeney Todd” rhymes with “Flying Squad”. A bit sill really, but it does sound cool.
The Sweeney is famous for its tyre-screeching car chases, but people seem to forget it’s also very funny. The banter between Regan and Carter is quite entertaining, and they always seem to be chatting about the case at hand over a mug of whiskey in the office, or down the pub on their lunch break. And the dialogue is highly quotable, especially the put-downs; “Do me a favour!”, “Shut it!”
It’s become part of our culture now, whether or not you realise it. It’s been parodied in everything from car ads to sitcoms. That’s why you may laugh at some of the clips, because they seem like cliches. But it’s the same with everything. Cliches have to start somewhere. So, if you do get a chance, watch it with an open mind, you shan’t regret it. By the end credits, you’ll always be left wanting more.
— Dara